When the Dawn Breaks
by ChocolateCurlz
Summary: Raven's dead, but how will this affect the Titans? Watch as one by one, they all... fall... apart... Revised (slightly). Slight RaeRob
1. Falling on Your Grave

Disclaimer: Nah…Wish as hard as I do, I don't own Teen Titans. Which, might I add, is a good thing for all the little kiddies out there.

When the Dawn Breaks-Chapter 1: Falling on Your Grave

Why Raven? Why did you have to go? Wasn't I funny enough? Wasn't the face cute enough?

I look up from you and see him. I never had a chance, did I? Maybe once, long ago, but now we're older, and you found something in him. The _wonderful_ Robin. Talented leader of the Teen Titans. I used to respect him but now…

I hate him more than I could ever hate anyone.

You should see this Raven. Hundreds of people here for you. Look at how many lives you've touched, at the tears falling on your grave. You'd shrug it off and say that they were wasting their time being here when they had their own lives, but they love you Raven.

We all did.

Cyborg refuses to play that game you bought him for Christmas. Says he can't. Says that if he does, then he'll believe that you're coming back. I have no idea how that works either; maybe his wiring is coming loose. Stupid metal head.

He's not the only one who's upset.

I bought you daises Raven. They look too happy among all the dark roses, but they mean more than Wonder Boy's orchids. Look at the pretty boy. He's crying.

So am I.

I look up at Cy. He's staring straight ahead, not letting his tears out. He should. He'll rust if he's not careful.

Starfire is blubbering all over Robin's shoulder. He's just letting her. What did you see in him? What did he have that I didn't? A tan?

Raven, don't go.

The priest has finished his prayer. People are throwing dirt on you. Someone nudges me to do it but I can't. The daises will be crushed if I do. See? They're not smiling anymore.

Neither am I.

People are whispering. Someone is trying talk to me, but all I see and hear is you.

Why Raven? Why? First Terra, then you. Why Raven? Why?

Is it just me?

If you had told us we would have helped you, and you wouldn't be 6ft under.

I stumbled closer to the open ground and fall to my knees

Look Raven, there are tears falling on your grave.

They're mine.


	2. I See Now

Disclaimer: I really hate saying this….I…Will….Never….Own….Them. Stop….Tormenting….Me.

When the Dawn Breaks-Chapter 2: I See Now

Our residence does not feel the same. It does not have that feeling it did before. I cannot understand why this is.

I am sad, friend Raven.

The boys are not as loud now. They sit in the lounge room and stare at the television, regardless what is being presented. They do not talk to me. They do not talk at all.

This is a horrible feeling.

There is no one to do the earth ritual of female "bonding" with.

There is no one I _want_ to bond with.

I look across the water from the rooftop. It has been one earth week since we attended your burial, and I still do not believe that you are gone. Sometimes, I pass an empty corner, and I can swear that I see you. But then I look again, and to my grief, you have gone. It is a horrible feeling. And now… and now…

My boy Robin blames himself for your demise.

We all blame ourselves.

But I know I am the one who should take it all.

We were never what earthlings would say close. And maybe if Robin were not here, you could have trusted me. Trusted Cyborg, and, even if he won't admit it, it appears to have hurt Beast Boy that you never formed a bond of connection with him.

Like you did with Robin.

My boy. I do not understand why he grieves so. It is me he should love, not you. He says he did not but if he didn't, why would he cry?

Because of you, I have lost him.

Because you never had trust in your friends, Robin will never be the same.

Now that I think of it, it was more unbearable when you _were_ here. At least now, you will not sidetrack Robin.

Raven, even though I wished for us to be friends, even though I thought that it assist us in becoming closer, I was wrong.

You were not nice. You were not my friend.

I... I hate you.

The others do not understand why they should not care, but I will make them.

And if they continue to miss you…

I will destroy the Teen Titans from the inside out.


	3. What You've Done

Disclaimer: It's a good thing I don't own Teen Titans, or Beast Boy would suddenly find himself in a mental ward. (Hey! He can be my room-mate! I hope he likes pink!)

When the Dawn Breaks-Chapter 3: What You've Done

Wonder Boy is taking this worse than I suspected.

He isn't talking, isn't eating. It's hard to tell if he's even breathing. Sits there, staring at the one spot, day in day out.

You had to be tough, didn't you? You couldn't tell us, your teammates, oh-no; finally sharing something with us would have been bad.

Six months. It's been six months since you've…

You were the one who brought us all together. Beast Boy would've always followed you, Robin would've always listened to you, and Starfire, well Starfire seems to be on a downhill spiral since you've been gone. It's as though she was a different girl when you were around. She destroyed all the photos of you and would have gone for your bedroom if Robin hadn't placed a lock on the door.

I managed to save a few of the good pictures, but I had to hide them from Beast Boy, or he would have refused to part with them. Sometimes, when he thinks he's by himself he'll start holding entire conversations with you. I've tried snapping him out of it, but it's like he really thinks you're still here.

And me?

I ain't gonna have friends again. What's the point if they leave like you did? I can't get why going through this kind of torture is worth it. Yeah, inside something's screaming that I'm wrong, but I don't listen to it anymore. I tuned it out after I saw what your death did to us.

I never really understood you, but then, I never really got to know you either. Maybe I should have tried, maybe then you wouldn't have continued the tough act. But I didn't try, and you continued like nothing was wrong.

And then you died. Just like that. I can still see it now, can still hear it. The flames, the screaming…

The smell.

I frown and look down at the car that I've just pulled apart.

I'm going to reassemble it, add a few things, and then paint it a deep navy blue.

I'll call it _The Raven_.

Ha. I can just imagine the look on your face if you saw what I was doing. At least this baby will do you proud, Rae.

Walking out, I can hear Beast Boy yelling at someone. That someone is yelling back at the top of their lungs, letting him have it. Then I realize, that's Starfire's voice.

Walking faster, the feeling in my stomach becomes worse. Things never used to be like this.

I come into the kitchen and stand there, shocked. Starfire has one of your cloaks and is burning it.

Beast Boy turns to me. "Raven isn't going to be happy when she comes home and finds this, will she Cy?"

I back away.

Raven, what have you done?


	4. Maybe If I Close My Eyes

Disclaimer: Don't own em. Go away. I want to be miserable in peace.

When the Dawn Breaks-Chapter 4: Maybe If I Close My Eyes

Sitting here beside you, I realize how much it still hurts. I never noticed, never saw.

You could have told us, we would have helped you. But _no_, off you went, to your father's lair by yourself.

It was Beast Boy who noticed you were gone, Beast Boy who said that we should follow you. So, for once we listened to him, and together we set off for the place of your death.

You were standing there, facing him, streaming all your soul into defeating him. And you would have too, if I hadn't called out your name. If I hadn't, you wouldn't have paused.

And then you wouldn't have missed that fireball; you wouldn't have died right in front of my eyes.

Starfire screamed, Beast Boy cried and Cyborg yelled out. I just stood there, watched you watch me. Then in a flame of deep burning hatred, you were gone.

But even then I didn't realize.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you wanted, sorry that I failed you as a leader and a friend.

Isn't it ironic? I never really noticed you when you were alive, you were so quiet, but now you're gone…

You're all that I think about.

Even now, two years later I still come. I try not to, I try to get on with life, but your ghost always draws me back.

Why are you doing this Raven?

Is this my punishment for my stupidity? If so, then I'll take it in silence.

The group was never the same without you. Beast Boy hated me and ultimately left us for a padded cell. He's still in there, muttering to himself. Cyborg just tinkers with cars, he doesn't bother making friends, believing that it's not worth that kind of pain.

As for Starfire…

What happened to her after your death is the sole reason I despise you.

Dark, moody…she became something else. She destroyed most of your things and tried to kill Beast Boy because he wouldn't stop "talking" to you. To what he thought was you.In the end, she threw herself off the tower because she couldn't live with what she had become.

And though I hated myself for it, I loathed you even more. Because, no matter how hard I tried, it was_ you _I missed.

I stand up, and brush the dirt off. This is the last time Raven. I can't live like this.

So I'm going to walk away.

Maybe if I close my eyes, you'll still be here and I'll still be sixteen. We'll all be a team, all living together, instead of apart. Then I'd have my chance to tell you. To help you out of your shell. To save you. To save Starfire. To save the Titans.

Sometimes, it's like you're standing next to me. You don't say anything, just touch my cheek or hold my hand. Then you'll be gone and I'll think it's just a breeze.

I loved you, but I hated you. Now I just want to let go. Hating you ruined my life, _loving_ you ruined my life.

I get up and brush the dirt off from your grave. I'm going to walk away from here, walk away from you.

My Immortal. My curse.

I'm sorry Raven. You don't know how much.


	5. When the Dawn Breaks

Disclaimer: Nah….I currently do not have possession of the Teen Titans. But one day….ONE DAY! 

AN: And so it finishes. It started as an outlet for all the dark evil things that had been going on in my mind. It has nothing to do with my other fics, just something I thought about. My first ever angst, a little OOC, a little confusing, but still my baby.

Thank-you all those people that have reviewed! I REALLY DO LOVE YOU!

When the Dawn Breaks-Chapter 5: When the Dawn Breaks

I never knew that this would happen. I never dreamed that my physical death would affect them like this.

Maybe if I had trusted them, told them, then they would still be together.

I would still be alive.

Beast Boy would have had the chance to find Terra again. He would have moved on from his childhood and have remained with his sanity. Then maybe he would never have hated one of his best friends.

Cyborg would realize that friendship was the greatest gift that could be given, that no matter what, it could endure pain. That it was beyond boundaries.

Starfire would never have learned to hate.

And Robin…

And Robin would have seen what really mattered.

For all these years I've stayed here, tormenting my old friends with the past.

It's time I let go.

They never deserved to suffer for my mistake.

For years, I've been in their dreams, in their nightmares. Halloweens, Christmases. I was the undercurrent of every move they made. To Beast Boy, I was still there. To Starfire, I was the enemy. To Cyborg, I was a car. To Robin…..

To Robin, I was some fading undine, something that wouldn't let him breathe.

By morning, they'll be able to really live. They won't have the guilt, the anger. They'll be able to start over, get the chance I never had. No ghost holding on to them, no memories of me. One last night to really say goodbye, one last night to ask their forgiveness.

One last night to love me.

When the dawn breaks, I'll leave them forever. I've already gone in body, it's time to go in mind.

Every little thing of me will be gone. No more breezy touches, no more shooting star smiles. No more falling rain tears.

Beast Boy will look out the small window of his room and see a black bird dart by and remember the joy of freedom.

Cyborg will find an old picture, one of us all, being friends. He'll smile, and something inside will tell him to get a move on with things.

Robin will wake up from the last dream of the past to haunt him, and swear he saw me, standing there beside his bed, telling him I love him.

There'll be no-more pain, no-more grief. They'll have forgotten me. The clear gold hues of a new day wiping away all thoughts of Raven, the girl that destroyed their lives.

When the dawn breaks.


End file.
